The last paragraph.... it so true.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maria-lin/special-needs-parenting_b_1314348.html

Be more audacious!!!!

come with me

take my hand

lets get lost together

safely and secure

the hand holds you tight

I feel this in every cell of my body!!!!

“It's just that I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.” 

― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I don't understand how so many people love each other but very few of them like each other. 

I want to like the person I choose to love. 

 

Where are you?

                                                        Let's 
                                                                get lost in the autumn leaves...

Life's for the living
So live it
Take the chance
Expose yourself
Hug
Make up
Move on
Try again
Get up and keep walking
Shake with fear
But do it anyway
Regret
Rejoice
Forgive
Have Grace
Love your imperfections
Be merciful
Love with all your being
Fall in too deep
Smile
Cry
Laugh
 Leave your insecurity behind
Come as you are
You were made delicately by God
Handcrafted imperfections
Adore yourself
Adore another



 

Laying in the grass
Looking at the stars
One falls
A wish made

Breathlessly you call... My wish

Somebody out there listens

Hope pouring out of the soul

Shooting stars can make dreams come true

I don't even know you... And I already like you!!!


I never like any one!

Amazed

                                                                             Only know you love her when you let her go.............

I want the whole world or nothing....

“I feel the need to endanger myself every so 

often."

~Tim Daly

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"

"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."

"I don't much care where –"

"Then it doesn't matter which way you go.” 

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Don't just settle for people who don't give you things to say, forever is a longtime to make small talk.

“My ambition is handicapped by laziness” 
~Bukowski

that moment when you are reading a good book but you are tired and start to fall asleep

                                    

When I am with you

                                                              my heart skips beats.

why are you not at the bottom of a bottle???

say what you mean and baby mean what you say

we humans are not chalk boards or white boards

words stick
like the accidental permanent marker
you used before you thought it out...

I'm sorry comes and goes

life goes on
but it still lingers
the words you didn't mean to say

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQS1129TMzQ

Control

Written- March 27, 2009 

I did my best
Still
I wasn't enough

I always forgave
Still
It wasn't enough

I loved and sacrificed myself
Still
I wasn't enough

So I moved on and
Left ....

Looking to fill myself
Believe in myself
Find love that shows
That I am enough

Yet
You still try to Control
You still try to Break me down
You still try to Tear me up

I have to dig deep
If I am going to win,
I have to be stronger
I have to not care

But the truth is I am scared
Scared of the pain you
have cause in the past

Scared of your enormous Wrath
I have to protect myself and you will
See

That you no Longer
have control over me!

Love

Written- April 21, 2010 

A knock at the door
I sit quietly
Hello… I say
Come in
He responds...Hello, I am love
I will stand beside you
I will guide you
I will love you, touch you
I will talk to you
Wipe your tears when you are sad
Celebrate you when you are happy
Calm you when you are scared
Chase you when you are excited
Help you process all your confusion
Ease your troubles, pains and fears
I will celebrate you
All your imperfections
I give you the best of me
I want to same in return
He says
.....
I respond
How beautiful your soul is
Let us try this on for size
It fit and was always perfect 

ONE YEAR....... <3 <3 <3

Written- January 26, 2010

One year ago I was 289 lb.
One year ago I was broken
One year ago I was lost
One year ago I was beaten
One year ago I felt like giving up
One year ago I got sick of what I was feeling

One year later I am down to 164 lb
One year later I am being glued back together
One year later I am found
One year later I am hugged
One year later I feel like I can handle it
One year later I realized I made the most important choice for the rest of my life one year ago... 

Divine Interventions
 Written- May 26, 2010


Sitting here
Darkness surrounds me
Alone
But not really on my own 

I watch for you
I sit here
Staring into space
Digging deeper into the depths of my emotions

My aura seems very bight
But my souls seems so weak 

My desires are strong
My passion is deep 
My pain is intense
My loss is great 

Yes I have lost 
However I have also gained. 

I have gained the emotional strength of 1000 men 
I have gained freedom to love who I am 
I for the first time in my life truly believe in myself…

I sit here alone
The air is dead
I am lonely, it is so quiet.

Am I physically alone?
Many times I feel emotionally alone..

God gently sends an angel to remind me
I get a call ….Heather it says
Be calm for you are surrounded by guardian angels
You are loved
Let your divine love shine 
The creator, the divine feminine and masculine loves you
You’re not alone
You never will be
For I am the love that is within you
The energy that surrounds you 
And the light to help guide your way 
Namaste



*We may not understand why people come into and out of our lives
But one thing I know for sure. They all serve a purpose and have been sent to provide divine intervention. They ease my sadness and sooth my loneliness in the dark hours

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche

I am smiling because I don't know what else to do!!

He held me but not for too long, for he was afraid I might get attached.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcvjoWOwnn4

a love like that some people may never recover from...

Note to self ~ I don't own a watch 

Have you seen that person who you have been missing all you life........Because I haven't

and my thoughts 

are kind of like 

the shopping mall is on Christmas eve...

                                               i guess i'm not the right kinda crazy for most men

When I told him I was leaving  it was then 

                                                                                      I realized it was the best day of my life.

Suffer in silence or silently suffer.....

she told me not to stay inside the bud

no matter how scared I was I took the first step out

and she was right

I was set free but still trembling 

I no longer allowed myself to be chained to pain and suffering

it was frightful to experience  peace. 

i was no longer going my own bully

“This one moment when you know you're not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you're listening to that song and that drive with the people you love most in this world. And in this moment I swear, we are infinite.” 
―  The Perks of Being a Wallflower

you see things
you keep quite about them
and 
you understand
~Perks of being a Wallflower

She always told me I was like my father...well she was wrong!!!

It's scary sometimes to think that you might actually be lovable especially when you have been made to feel you aren't all your life..

He told me men only look at me and desire me for sexual reasons, never had I felt more empty in my life....that's when I knew I had to go and he was worthless to me

A lot of people say they want to get out of pain, and I'm sure that's true, but they aren't willing to make healing a high priority. They aren't willing to look inside to see the source of their pain in order to deal with it.
Lindsay Wagner

Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.
~Tori Amos 

When I told you I was normal ....I guess I was exaggerating a bit!!

So here I am trying to start something.  Here you will read my inner thoughts of my living and being. I am still living because I have pain once we no longer have pain we begin to die... be vulnerable for growth and transformation. 

Come as you are wounded, sewn together or joyous all are accepted here.